Unpacking the popularity of the word “gratitude”
Have you noticed the number of times people invoke the word “gratitude” these days? People use it to sign off both their personal and business letters. Gratitude is verbally bantered around as a catchall phrase in every day conversations. Even Notre Dame Cathedral uses it in their solicitation letters. When I read their hopeful farewell of “avec notre gratitude,” it was clear to me the term has reached international status. It is unquestionably “au courant.”
But I wondered if “gratitude” had not become a cliché given its omnipresence. To test my theory of the word’s diminishing power, I decided to survey my late husband’s family, the Laubers. After a delightful Thanksgiving dinner, I offered up the question to everyone present: “What are you most grateful for today in your life?” Perhaps with their responses I could unpack the “why” of the word’s popularity.
Their answers, all sincerely and generously offered, were more revealing than anticipated. My first take-away was perhaps “gratitude” still had significance. To my surprise I also learned that several family members kept daily gratitude journals. A bit obsessive? Perhaps not if you considered the similar popularity of people logging their steps each day on their iPhones, me included. Maybe they were on to something?
To add context to this informal survey, I added some online research. Multiple medical and health-wellness sites claimed that expressing gratitude can have a profound impact on an individual’s mood, outlook on life, and overall well-being. The act was even described as a muscle which could be developed!
Turns out gratitude doesn’t need to be limited to major things either. Being grateful for little things, such as an unexpected smile from a stranger, or a bus which arrives on time, counts too. Why? Because they also provide a respite from the prevailing negative undertone festering in most of our lives. And given the overwhelming amount of bad news, stress and cynicism these days to savage our spirit, perhaps conveying gratitude —and thus positivity—might not be a bad idea.
Before divulging my family’s revelations, I wanted to express my thanks—or should I say “gratitude”— for their allowing me to delve into their lives with such an intimate question.
My stepson, Mark Lauber, who successfully runs a wine importing business plus his own recreational sports center, started off the discussion:
I am thankful my parents forced me to go to an all-boys college prep school, which I was not happy with at the time. But going there got me into the Wharton School of Business, which laid the foundation for my career.
I am also grateful that my Dad brought me into the wine business and that together we built a substantial business from the ground floor up. It has allowed me to do something I enjoy, while providing my family with a very nice lifestyle.
Mark’s wife Laureen, a busy mother of four children and two dogs, went right to the heart of what most of the other family members also believed most valuable:
What I am most thankful for, today and every day, would be our health and family. Without both, life wouldn’t make much sense. I know it’s not the most interesting response, but it is what I’m most thankful for.
Her twin daughter Jessica, a high school senior, mirrored her gratitude for family:
I am most thankful for the beautiful blessings of having a strong and wonderful family. Not only does it fill my life with comfort and clarity, but it also helps guide me towards success and happiness. As I grow older and get ready to leave for college, I realize how lucky I am to have such supportive and loving people surrounding me every day. Their loyalty and kindness feel rarer than any luxury as this allows me to live well and grow with intention and grace. I'm most grateful this Thanksgiving for time spent with loved ones. Family is something so profound in my heart that I never take it for granted.
Jessica’s twin sister, Kaylee, who just won two athletic scholarships to Montclair State University, proves that she, too, follows her mother’s example of priorities of gratitude:
I am so grateful for all my family and friends and all of their health. I am grateful for the ability to play sports and be a part of something fun. I am also grateful that I get to go to school and pave a pathway for myself for the future.
The twin’s older brother, Matthew, a senior at Florida State University who recently experienced unexpected health issues, had a more lifesaving reason for his gratitude.
I would say the one thing that I truly am grateful for is the advanced healthcare and technology that we have in our country. This was something I truly never put much thought into but after my two emergency surgeries in 2023, I really gained so much gratitude and appreciation for not only the technology we have but the amazing people who dedicate their lives to health care. I frequently think about the serious health issues I encountered. Had I lived in a third world country or somewhere else not as advanced [as the US], I probably wouldn't be living this beautiful life nor be able to enjoy seeing my family on days like Thanksgiving!
Christ Lauber, Mark’s younger brother, photographer and road race director —as well as family scribe and keeper of all things genealogically related—had one word to share: FAMILY. Then he further elaborated:
Expanded to include both the family from which I came, all highly ethical individuals:
my parents and my brother, Mark, and the previous generation, Grandpa Bill and Grandma Elsie Lauber, Nanny Fran and Grandpa Joe Donovan. Though he passed when I was just five, his writing expertise passed through my mom and down to me.
Expanded to also include our daughters, Leah and Nicole, as well as their hubs, Japesh and Ben. There is not much better than knowing your adult children are doing well and prospering in their lives.
Also noteworthy: I remember returning home solo a few hours after Leah was born. It was the middle of the night by then and I sat at my desk, perhaps in a mild state of shock that I was a father. I remember feeling so much more connected to my elders as I was no longer the last in my line, but instead, a link from them to my newborn.
Rya, Chris’ wife and co-founder of Florida Road Races (for runners not cars!), introduced the concept of journaling to acknowledge things, large and small:
Just so you know, I write a journal every morning as I sip my coffee, and I make a short list of the small things I'm grateful for each day. So, to come up with just one took some deep thinking...
Since family is a given on my gratitude list, next up would be my home-sweet-home. It's more than a house, a garden, and a pool. When I walk through my front door, it's my sanctuary, my comfort zone, my happy place. My garden is a never-ending project to attract butterflies and pollinators, and the pool is my relief from Florida's scorching summers. But most important, after 34 years, our home is filled with warm memories of raising two daughters, enjoying meals around the table, from the four of us, to twenty-plus friends and family during the holidays. There truly is no place like home.
Building on what Rya found so important, journalist Thomas Friedman remarked in a recent NYTimes article, “Humans have an enduring, structural need for home, not only as a physical shelter, but as a psychological anchor and moral compass, too….When people lose that sense of home—whether by war, rapid economic, climate change or technological change—they tend to lose their center of gravity.”
Leah Patel Lauber, Chris and Rya’s eldest daughter and senior art director for a vitamins & supplements company:
Of course, family and loved ones are my number one thing for which I am most grateful. I love that we look forward to seeing each other (and have the means to do so despite living so far apart!) and have fun and good conversations when we do. I know plenty of people who have very complicated relationships with their families and holiday gatherings are much more tense.
Thinking about more immediate thankfulness, today I'm very grateful for coffee, aspirin, and working from home. The whirlwind I've been dealing with last week meant waking up with a headache this morning, but at least I could wait for the caffeine and medicine to kick in while working in my pajamas.
A broader view: I'm forever grateful that my sister Nicole and I grew up with such strong female role models in our family, who each had very successful careers in a time where that was not common. The idea of women being able to do anything, be independent, and be in leadership roles was never a question for us because we witnessed it firsthand. A lot of the success we've each had in our own lives stems from that foundation.
Japesh Patel, Leah’s husband and workforce manager:
After family, I am most grateful for having had a childhood that was free from the internet and cell phones. When I grew up things were simpler and we had to figure things out without immediately looking it up on our phones. We’re the last generation who wasn’t born into a world of instant access to any question we had. Because I know the difference between having and not having it, I now greatly appreciate the internet and all it has to offer.
Nicole Lauber Judd, younger sister and digital marketer who just moved East from Florida:
I actually have a gratitude journal where I jot down three things I’m grateful for every morning. After re-reading the past few weeks of entries, there’s an overarching theme that I keep expressing gratitude for: opportunity. When I think about all my past opportunities that have come my way, I’m grateful for how they’ve moved me forward into the life I’m currently living. And when I think of the future opportunities that will come my way, I’m grateful knowing I can continue creating the life I want to lead.
And just for kicks, here are a few other out-of-the-box things that I’ve expressed gratitude for in my journal! Strong coffee, turtleneck sweaters, the combination of cold weather and a sunny day, having a family full of Democrats, my trusty yoga mat, small moments that bring a big smile to my face, strong female leads, and getting lost in the moment.
Ben Judd, Nicole’s husband and product manager:
I'm thankful for the moment in time we live in. There was some difficulty in making such a concise statement without adding context. For clarification, there's a lot of negative emotion towards the way everything has been going recently. It's easy to be frustrated with our leaders, wars, defunding science and health, wage gaps, the threat of AI, etc. But we must also consider that we have easier access to nearly everything than emperors ever did hundreds/thousands of years ago. There are so many scientific advances and new knowledge about the world that compounds on previous work. Everything is constantly coming into focus. There are so many great writers, books, music, movies, art, etc. that it's impossible to keep up with it all. It can be overwhelming, but you can also find ultra-niche things to care about and dedicate your life to, and there's probably an accessible community for it as well.
I am truly thankful to be at the bleeding edge of humanity. Things still need to get better, but we can live a truly magnificent life.
To end this post, here’s my entry. Like everyone else, family and health head my list of thankfulness. But friends also play a powerful role adding context and beauty to my life. However, if I could only name one other thing, it would have to be gratitude for the wisdom my husband had in managing the family finances. This may appear a bit crass and transactional. However, from a practical standpoint, thanks to Ed’s gift with numbers plus his sound investment strategy I can maintain a comfortable lifestyle and still have a bit leftover to share with my favorite charities. I am deeply cognizant that this is a privilege, one that I do not take for granted just as my granddaughter Jessica divulged.
Now that we’ve established that “gratitude” is here to stay after all, maybe you, too, should give it a ponder. That is, if you are not already doing so on a regular basis. Let me know if it gives your day a lift as the experts claim it will. At least, it can’t hurt to give it a try, can it?
Wishing all my loyal readers a healthy, happy 2026 filled with gratitude for whatever it is which gives you joy, peace and laughter. And don’t forget to check out my friend Kimberly Charles’ inspirational contribution in the quotes (or appetizer) section of the blog.